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Pathological demand avoidance, meet psychoanalysis!
All speech is demand. Every demand is a demand for love.
Jacques Lacan, Ecrits, 813/311
What is Pathological Demand Avoidance?
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is usually understood as a ‘profile’ or sub-type of autism, but is not a recognised disorder in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. PDA was first proposed as a disorder by UK child psychologist Elizabeth Newsom in 1980. In recent years there has been a growing acceptance and awareness of PDA, at least in the English-speaking world.
The UK’s PDA Society notes that while demand avoidance is ‘a natural human trait’, and something that is common among autistic people, the term ‘pathological demand avoidance’ entails avoidance of demands simply because they’re demands: ‘Some people explain that it’s the expectation (from someone else or yourself) which leads to a feeling of lack of control, then anxiety increases and panic can set in’. There may also be ‘an “irrational quality” to the avoidance — for instance, a seemingly dramatic reaction to a tiny request, or the feeling of hunger inexplicably stopping someone from being able to eat’. The PDA Society also asserts that PDA demand avoidance ‘is not a choice’ and, like autism, is a lifelong condition.
